SexEdNotes   ~   So, How Come...



Young men and women often have serious questions about how or why their bodies are developing in certain ways, and are concerned that they may be 'different' from their friends, or from ANYONE. They fear they may be 'weird' and shunned.

In this section, articles that address those types of concerns will be added as they come to our attention. We responded to the following questions:

"Dear Breasts: What Are Your Plans?" To help you to understand just what your breasts are likely to develop, what to expect, and what you can... or cannot do about it.
"Is It Wrong If I Don't Wear A Bra To School?" When you know that wearing a bra will cause breast problems, but your school (or job) requires you to wear one, what do you do?



“Dear Breasts: What Are Your Plans?”

You are concerned about your breasts. Why? Because you don’t know what their plans are? Are you afraid that they are going to do something of which you don’t approve? Are you afraid that they are going to embarrass you? Let me ask you something… How well do you know your breasts? Have you spoken to them lately? Or do you just take them for granted and ignore them… treat them as two flowers on the wall?

Sit down and write a letter to your breasts. Really! Take off your shirt, sit in front of a mirror, look at your breasts very closely, and start writing. Tell them what you think about them. How do you really feel about them. What do they mean to you? Why are they there? What are you expecting of them? Are you proud of them? Or have they disappointed you?

Write down two good things about them that you see. Yes, there are always some good things about everything. We just have to look for the good things. They are there. Do you see them? Are you looking? Look again.

I’m sure that you have always felt better when you knew what was going to happen to you. But, all of a sudden, you have something new that is threatening to change your lifestyle. Some THINGS. And they are threatening to cause your lifestyle to be different from what you have always planned.

Sadly, you do not have much control over what happens to you in your life… at least when it comes to how your body is developing, you don’t. But you DO have a LOT of control over how YOU deal with your body changes. You cannot change bodies with someone, even though that would be nice sometimes, but would you really want to? There is that girl that is a couple of grades in school ahead of you that is exactly what you would love to look like… the same weight… the same height… the same gorgeous hair… the same pretty face. You want to be as athletic as she is, and as POPULAR. Especially popular. That would be so cool. And her figure is to die for. Right? But it looks like your breasts are NOT going to be looking like hers. They are too… what? Too big? Too small? One’s baby-sized and the other is huge? Whatever, they sure don’t look like HERS!

You already know that you are only dreaming when you think these things. She is who she is, and you are who you are. But that is not bad. Actually it is good. Even though she looks great in so many ways, and you would love to look just like her… to BE her… there is a surprise coming to you. She is not everything that she appears to be. She is only what she WANTS you to think that she is.

You see, she believes that she is pretty and popular and exciting, and if SHE believes it, everyone else believes that. She actually has some things in her life and some parts of her body that she is not very proud of, but you would never know it. Why not? Because she refuses to let those negative parts of her life control the good, positive parts of her life and her body. You have good, positive parts to your life and your body. Everyone has good parts. Have you looked for them lately? Sometimes all we can see are the bad parts.

How is that letter coming that you are writing to your breasts? How many good things have you written down? Keep looking… there are more good things about your breasts that you probably have never thought about… have never seen.

Instead of talking about ‘that girl’, let’s talk about your breasts. That is why you are reading this note, right? You are afraid that your breasts are not ____________... go ahead and fill in the blank. What are your concerns? They are not …what? …not big enough…? …not small enough…? …not an equal size…? …too droopy…? …too pointy…? Which of these describes your breasts? I assume that you did not fill in “My breasts are perfect”. If you did you would not be reading this note.

And by what standard are you comparing your breasts? Do you know what other women’s breasts even look like? More importantly… do you know that their breasts looked like when they were your age? And what about all that other important stuff? Did you have your first period at the same age they had theirs? Or do their mother’s breasts look like YOUR mother’s breasts? We cannot ignore genetics, can we?

Or maybe you resent even having breasts? Did you enjoy being able to be ‘one of the guys’ and playing baseball and wrestling and climbing trees and playing without your shirt on when the weather was too hot to wear one? And now all of that is changing because “THEY” are sprouting out on your chest and your mom says you have to wear the shirt now? Or she tells you “It’s not really appropriate for a young lady to wrestle with the boys any more”? Maybe you were just happy as could be… until ‘THEY’ started causing problems. You ask yourself “Can I take a pill to make them go away?”

Because of the fact that you were born a girl, breasts are destined to be part of your life. But that is not a bad thing. Breasts are good. They were designed to do something that boys cannot do… you can feed that precious young baby that you bring into the world when you marry and start your own loving family. You get to hold your baby and love it and give it the most precious gift that you can ever give it, after giving it life itself. Your breasts will allow you to do that. No matter what size or what shape they are, now or later.

Your breasts are changing right now, and they will continue to change throughout your life. They will constantly be changing. You know those “PERFECT” breasts that you hear about? Well, they do not exist. They only exist after the PhotoShop makes them perfect. Or after the surgeon charges you tens of thousands of dollars to cut your precious breasts up and MAYBE they will turn out looking more like what you hoped that they would look like on their own. We won’t bother talking about the ones that did not turn out ‘quite right’. The ones that are ‘failures’. The ones where the surgery literally destroyed the breasts. Oops!

You can probably tell me about several women that have pretty breasts that you feel are very close to being the PERFECT breasts. Anyone can probably do that. But, I guarantee you that the choice you make will not be the choice your mother would have made when she was your age. Why? Because of “Fashion” and “Trends”. Did you know that when your great-grandmother was your age, the girls were all wrapping their chests with bandages, trying to force their breasts to be as flat and as non-existent as possible, because that was what was ‘in fashion’ then. Ten years later, larger breasts were more in style, and those that tied their breasts down were sorry they did that, because their breasts grew to be deformed as they developed, from that tight binding around their chests. When I was in high school my English teacher had a bunch of National Geographic magazines in the classroom, and they ALL seemed to have at least one picture of native women with breasts that went straight down their chest. We thought it was because they did not wear bras. It was not that at all. To them, a flat chest was more beautiful, and they literally tied them down from the time the girls were starting to develop. Some even “ironed” them flat, like you iron a blouse, and they used hot rocks. OUCH!. What we have to do to be in fashion. WOW.

When your grandmother was your age, in order to be in fashion, she had to have really large breasts, and they had to be really pointy, and they looked like they would put out someone’s eye if she walked into them on the street. SOOO many young women just did not naturally look like that. Their breasts were just not that large, and they were not that pointed. Have you ever seen a woman that had breasts that stuck straight out and went to a point at the end? Without a bra making them do that? Do you remember the funny bra that Madonna wore on stage that looked like she was wearing two funnels on her chest? Well, she was making fun of the girls that your grandmother looked up to as the “ideal” breast shape. Those poor girls back then were so desperate they were the ones that were first to have implants placed in their breasts, so that they would look like the movie stars that had large, pointed breasts. A famous dancer in San Francisco even had raw silicone INJECTED into her breasts with needles, and she became huge. She is still alive.

When your mother was young, she grew up with women a little older than her that began to revolt against the wearing of a bra, and they were leaving them off. It was the time of “bra-freedom” and people talked about “burning the bra”. So, what did women’s breasts look like when they did that? Well, they looked really funny… something that was really unusual. Their breasts looked… um… NATURAL. (gasp). Really! They looked like real breasts. And you know what? They looked BEAUTIFUL.

There were large breasts, and there were small breasts, and there were breasts that were lower on the woman’s chest than we were ‘used to seeing’. And they were all beautiful. They all looked like real breasts. No one complained because a woman’s breasts were too small, or were too large. Everyone accepted women with their natural breasts. It was very nice.

But, as nice as that all sounds, guess what changed? Yep. The ‘Latest Style’ changed. Why? Because a lot of people make a lot of money simply because people like to buy the ‘latest’ and the ‘greatest’, whether it is the newest car or the latest i-Phone or the latest dress style done by a designer living in Paris. So, because styles changed, the breast styles changed. Women went back to their bras, and each year we see new styles and designs to change the look of women’s breasts. For some reason, people are not satisfied with what they were naturally given. Men are the same way, but they are not as keen on fashions or how their bodies look. Well, except for things like body hair. When you granddad was in school, men with hair on their chests were “real” men. Today, men prefer to shave their chests and their backs and everything so they will be smooth. People laugh at men with body hair today. And yet, movie stars grow shaggy beards and don’t comb their hair. Fashions change. 

OK, this is starting to sound like a teacher giving a lecture, so let’s get back to you. To your breasts. The reason we did that little history lesson was to have a way of standing back and thinking about the “big picture”. In reality, the “perfect breast” that you would choose today, will not be the perfect breast when you are a decade older. If your breasts are smaller today than the average woman’s breasts, and you feel yours should be larger, think of how nice it will be in ten years when smaller breasts will be very popular…again… and yours will be ‘perfect’!

Ask you mom if she remembers who Twiggy is. She is a British model. Her breasts were absolutely tiny. So many women with larger breasts made themselves miserable trying to make their breasts look smaller. Some were so desperate to be with the “in-group” that they had their surgeons reduce their breasts. What a tragedy. Not only they had serious scars on their breasts for the rest of their lives, many of them had complications from the surgery and they had to have their breasts completely removed. And many of them, even though they were able to keep their breasts, could no longer breastfeed their children when they had them. Surgery can (and often does) destroy the natural function of the breast.

There is something else, too. And it would be a shame if we don’t talk about it. You are old enough that we need to talk about it. Are your breasts sensitive? Do they feel good when you touch them? That is natural, and it is a gift that you have that allows you and your husband to feel sexual excitement when you are making love. That is very important, and when you are married, you will find that it can be a very, very significant part of your everyday life. Your breasts feel that way because you have a lot of nerves in your breasts that can be stimulated, and it makes you feel really good when you are being intimate with your husband.

That sensitivity has another, more important reason. When you place your new-born child to your nipple, his or her lips will stimulate your breast nerves. That will send signals to your brain, which stimulates your pituitary gland to release certain hormones in your body to go through your blood stream to your breasts, where they enable your glands in your breasts to produce milk. That is a very complex system, and when you do breast surgery, most of the time you will mess up that complex system, and you may not be able to breastfeed your baby. And that is not good, because you give all of your natural immunities to your baby when you breastfeed him or her. That makes your baby much more healthy and strong, and it helps their brain to develop to be smarter. It also helps you to bond more completely with your new child, helps you to lose weight after giving birth, and a ton of other good things that you don’t want to lose out on. Things that are extremely more important than “being like the other girls” or having the “perfect breasts”.

Or… maybe you are in a panic mode right now because your breasts are HUMONGOUS things and you are afraid that you will look like a COW! Well, there certainly are some negatives to having extremely large breasts. You likely will not be a ballerina, or a distance runner. But you don’t really know how large your breasts will become. Who can tell you what size they will become? Um… nobody. Nope. So many things may influence the ultimate size of your breasts, and no one can ever follow them all and predict anything with any certainty.

Are you a gambler? Do you like to take chances and bet your friends on how things will turn out? Well, don’t place any money on what your breast size will be when you are twenty-five, OK? You will likely lose all your money.

There are so very few women who develop extremely large breasts that it just is not likely to happen to most people. I know… you see some of the women on the internet or in Playboy or Penthouse magazines with huge breasts. Those are not the average woman. They are especially chosen BECAUSE of their breast size. And most of them MADE their breasts that size, by having a doctor insert implants inside their breasts just so they will be that large.

Why would they do that? Why would a woman WANT her breasts to be that large? Because they like them large. Everyone has their own opinion and desire as to what size they want their breasts to be. Sound familiar? You have an opinion of what you want your breasts to look like, right? You wish they were larger… or smaller… or more firm… or something. VERY FEW women are happy with the size of their breasts… unless. Unless they decide that they like their breasts. And more and more women are realizing that is a good thing. Deciding that you like yourself… you like your facial features… your breasts… your height… your weight… that all makes your life so much happier and better.

Incidentally, if you are thinking that putting silicone implants into your breasts would be an answer to your "problems", and would make you a beautiful person, stop and think about possible problems that you will more than likely face if you decide to put them into your breasts. Yes, many women have selected to have their breasts mutilated with a  scalpel and "made beautiful" by removing tissue or adding foreign materials to their breasts, but do you ever hear about the many women that are in tears over the 'other' problems that decision brought into their lives? The young women that made the choice when in school, and when they married, only then found that the surgery destroyed their chance to breastfeed their precious baby. Whether they had implants installed or had tissue removed to make their breasts smaller, surgery alters the many tissues and ducts and glands inside the breasts when the scalpel assault them.

Has anyone shared with you how long their new breasts last? Silicone implants do not last forever. When you save all that money up and take that trip into the hospital, it is not over... not at all. You are not always told that if they are not damaged and leak earlier,  the implants will likely need to be cut out and replaced in about ten years, and then you get to do the healing all over again, and you get a whole new set of scars on your once lovely breasts.

There is an increased incidence of infection, and capsular contraction is something that causes your breasts to become rock hard. Imagine your new boyfriend's face when he hugs those! Keloid problems are very distressing and can impinge your health. And that ten or twelve thousand dollars you paid for your new breasts... you get to pay that again when you remove and replace them. What is you just leave them out? Your breasts will be smaller than they were before your surgery. And with all of that internal damage from surgery, they will surely hang lower than before as well.

A flat tire is funny in the movies. It is a pain when it is found when you get in the car to go to work. Think about finding one on your chest... one nice firm breast and one squishy one hanging down, all because the implant... a very thin "balloon" that ruptured, spilling the contents into your body tissues... has broken open and been leaking its contents into your body for... how long? Yuck! How much tissue will have to be cut out of your breasts this time, due to the liquid silicone that is spread throughout your fatty tissues in your breast?

OK, "worse-case scenario" you say, or "scare tactics". It is your choice if you make this decision to place things into your body. Just know that before you do that, you need to talk to a lot of people to learn all of the facts, so that you can become a more informed consumer. And I would not suggest that your only source of information be the person selling you the procedure. We are not talking about which loaf of bread to buy... this is a life-altering decision you are making, and you will live with the results... both the positive ones as well as the negative ones... for the rest of your life. Or you can love those beautiful breasts that you have... those unscarred, unaltered, soft, milk-producing, healthy breasts that maybe are not all that bad?!

A successful woman is not successful because she has the perfect body. She accepts her body as being perfect, and that makes her a success in everything that she does. If she is happy with herself, so will others be happy with her.

Are you worried that your breasts will cause others to not like you? This is a very important thing to remember… something that everyone should know, but too many don’t think about:

If You Are Happy With Yourself… If You Actually Like Yourself,
 Other Will Like You As Well.

Of course, the opposite is also true:

If You Don’t Like Yourself, No One Else Will Like You!

So, can’t we also say the same thing about your body parts?

If You Don’t Like Your Nose, No One Else Will Like Your Nose.


If You Don’t Like Your Breasts, No One Else Will Like Your Breasts.

So, what is the message here? Well, just exactly what do you want? Do you want others to like you? Then love yourself, just as you are, sort of like “Come As You Are”.

Are you concerned about whether others will ‘approve’ of your breasts? If you love your breasts, others will love them as well. And more than that, if you have a great personality and if you seek to help others and to like them and make friends with everyone, they will like you whether you have breasts or not.

Do you know at least one person that is as ugly as a stick… and yet they are very friendly and popular and everyone likes them? Why is that? Probably it is because they have learned to accept themselves for what they are, and that makes others accept them as well. And stick girl is happy as well. It works. It really does.

OK, so you are going to be happy and friendly and like everybody you see and all of that. But, can you help my breasts any? That IS the question, right? Well, basically the answer is no, but there are some things that you can do, beyond what we were just talking about.

Your breasts (and everyone else’s breasts) consist of suspension ligaments  to lift them up high, milk ducts to carry milk to your nipples, and milk glands that generate your milk. That stuff is referred to as your “acini” (a-kee-nee) tissues, and they make up one-third of your breast. The other two-thirds? Sorry, but it is plain old body fat. But that is good, because that is what fills out your breasts and makes them look smooth and pretty and makes them soft and cute and everything.

If you fear having larger breasts than you would prefer to have, ask your doctor what your weight should be. If you weigh more than you should for your height, you might consider being more careful about your diet. If you are already at your “normal” body weight for your height, DO NOT GO ON A MASSIVE DIET TO REDUCE YOUR BREASTS. It will mess up the rest of your body, and may not affect your breast size anyway. We have no way of controlling where body fat goes on or comes off our bodies. But being overweight will likely not cause your breasts to get smaller. That is certain.

In the same respect, if you are concerned that your breasts are not going to be large enough, and you are below your ‘normal’ weight, consider eating better to gain up to your NORMAL weight for your height. DO NOT EAT MORE FOOD TO GAIN BREAST SIZE if you already are at your expected weight. You will end up being fat with a flat chest.

Are you athletic? I mean REALLY athletic? Like intra-mural sports? If so, and your breasts seem to be behind schedule, or your period has not yet come and you are well past the age your friends’ periods started, it may be due to your body being so athletic. If you are athletic, you probably have a low body-fat index, and your body relies on having some body-fat for your estrogen to be produced. Your estrogen controls when your periods start and when your breasts develop. If your breasts are smaller than ‘normal’ at your age, it may be due to your extreme athletic lifestyle.

And in the same respect, if your breasts are getting larger than you think that they should, and you are not exercising, AND you are not underweight, you might want to become more physically active. That tends to slow down your estrogen production, and estrogen is what your body uses to develop your breast tissues. Of course it will be good for your body in general, as well as your mental health.

Note: There are NO exercises that can increase or decrease your breast size directly. You cannot “exercise” your breasts to develop them, because there are no muscles in your breasts… except for teeny, tiny ones that make your nipples become erect when you are cold. There are muscles BEHIND your breasts… your pecs… pectoral muscles. For many years, people have suggested developing your pecs so they will cause your breasts to ‘stand out’ from your chest more, but if you exercise enough to develop your pecs, you may end up reducing your breast size from losing the fat in your breasts. Don’t be afraid to exercise for fear of losing your breasts. Some exercise is helpful, in many ways. If you exercise for hours every day, you will possibly see some loss of breast size due to a lowered body-mass index.

It just ain’t easy, is it. What a bummer.

Each of these ‘methods’ are only ‘possibles’, and may not make much change to the eventual size of your breasts, but they are healthy steps to take, and a healthy body makes healthy breasts. And the younger you are, and the earlier you start toward good breast health, the better off your breasts will be.

Speaking of healthy breasts, breast health is very important. One out of eight women who live to the age of 96 will get breast cancer. That statistic is getting worse. I recall forty years ago the number was one out of sixteen. So, what has changed? What are we doing differently to our breasts now that we did not do then? There are several things that are believed to improve breast health in our population, but there is something that seems go be preventing us from doing the right thing. What is it? Remember that term “in fashion”? Well, it rears its ugly head once again.

There are five major studies that have been done that have shown that one of the worse things that we are doing to our breasts is we are preventing them from flushing out their waste products, and those wastes are causing our breast cells to become malignant (cancerous).

Your body has what is referred to as a lymphatic fluid throughout. Each and every cell of your body requires nutrients and oxygen and water to live, and the product of cell life is waste products, just like your body takes in nutrients, oxygen and water, and you produce… um… waste. Right? Well, the wastes from your cells rely on your lymphatic fluid to carry away the waste products, and take them to your organs, which process the wastes and gets rid of them when you go to the bathroom, or when you sweat. The lymphatic fluids are your “garbage trucks” that carry the wastes from each cell to ‘the dump’, where the wastes are eliminated.

The weakness of that concept is the lymphatic fluid does not have a pump. Your blood is moved by your heart when it beats. But you don’t have a ‘heart’ to pump the lymphatic fluids. The fluids and waste products move when you move. Your muscles move your lymphatic fluid when you exercise, or your body parts move, and that will ‘pump’ the fluids throughout your body. That is what your breasts do when they bounce and wiggle and jiggle. The breast movement causes your lymphatic fluids to move through your breasts and flush out the cellular waste products. But what is it that we are doing with our breasts? We put them into a bra to… HOLD THEM STILL. “Fashion” won’t let us allow our breasts to move around. That is what bra companies advertise when they sell bras… that they “SUPPORT” them. Support and separate. That means your breasts don’t move. If your breasts don’t move, what happens to your lymphatic fluids in your breasts? They lay stagnant in your breasts. The garbage trucks are not running! It is believed that stagnant waste is what causes your breast cells to become malignant… to become cancerous.

What can you do to reduce your chance of that happening? Very simple: Don’t Wear Your Bra. OK, you may feel like you ‘need’ to wear it at certain times, but when you are home or ‘knocking around’ with friends, leave it off. And for goodness sakes, DON’T SLEEP IN YOUR BRA. When will your breasts ever be able to move and flush out those wastes if they are kept inside that harness that you wear? Encourage your mother to do the same. It will help her breasts as well. The more your breasts are allowed to move on their own, the healthier they will be, the less often they will develop painful cysts inside, and the lower your risk for developing breast cancer will be. That is a proven fact.

The bra was invented by a woman a hundred years ago, and since that time, women have been told that if they DON’T wear a bra, their breasts will sag to their knees. Well, that has been proven time and time again to not be true. The Cooper’s Ligaments that are in your breasts will hold your breasts up, all by themselves, but if you constantly wear a bra, the ligaments will weaken (atrophy), or if you wear a “training bra” as soon as your breasts start to enlarge, the ligaments will never be required and they will not develop any strength, and your breasts will actually sag more, when the bra is removed. Women that stop wearing a bra have found that their breasts actually will lift on their own over time. That is because when they have to support your breasts (without a bra), the ligaments get stronger, and they lift your breasts naturally.

Women that do not wear a bra have about the same risk of developing breast cancer as a man. Yes, a man. And yes, men do get breast cancer. They do have breasts. Haven’t you noticed those nipples on their chest? Last year something like 180,000 women were diagnosed with breast cancer. Five thousand men were diagnosed with breast cancer. I like those odds much better. How about you?

So, what are you going to do so that you can get to where you actually LIKE your breasts more than you do now? Well, first, let me introduce you to them. Have you ever really paid any attention to your breasts? Have you ever really looked them over carefully? Do you know them well enough that you could recognize them? It is important that ALL women get to know their breasts intimately. They are going to be together for a long time, hopefully. The better you know them, the quicker you can spot a problem if they have one. You can visit a site that will allow you to see how to do a Breast Self-Examination… a BSE. It is  A lovely young lady took images of herself doing the BSE because it is important to do it carefully, and often. She wants to help you to have healthy breasts. Do it once a month. When should you start doing BSE? Well, do you have breasts? Then you should be doing BSE. The earlier you start doing it, the better you get to learn your breasts. The better you will know them. That allows you to know immediately if something is different. A doctor can tell you if it is good different or bad different.

Something else you can do is to give your breasts a friendly massage. And this will actually feel good, so you will probably enjoy doing this. Every day you should do this, ESPECIALLY if you had to wear a bra that day. Try to never wear a bra longer than 8 hours in a day. Six would be better. Or four. Or zero.

You don’t have to be trained, or be a licensed masseuse or anything. Just move your breasts around while you are reading or watching TV (with your bra in the drawer, of course). The idea is to move them so that your lymphatic fluids will move around, in and out of your breast tissues. Those fluids all try to work toward your underarm. If you ‘push’ the skin in that direction, it may help to get the fluid to move toward your underarm. That is where most of your breast’s lymphatic nodes are located. There are a couple of dozen of them under there.

Give your breasts a chance to get some air. When you are in your room alone, open your blouse (no bra of course) and allow air to move over your breasts. And get to know them while you do this. If you have a chance to sit and get some morning or evening sun on your breasts without causing a scene with your neighbors, do that.

If you feel like you are the 'Lone Ranger' and are the only woman on earth that has breasts that look like yours do, why don't you take a look at a gallery of images of women who are quite pleased with their breasts. They have breasts all the way from tiny to extreme, and there are many more just like them. I guarantee you will find several in that gallery that are the same size or shape that you are now, so be proud of who you are and what you look like, just like these women are, and you will be much happier. The gallery is located here:

One of the reasons young women are not happy with their breast size may be that a particular fashion or clothing style may be currently popular, and they wish they could wear that style. But styles change from year to year, and women cannot change their breast size again and again. What would be really helpful to you would be for them to study the styles that are available, and find what looks good on women that have the same breast size as you have. Dress yourself to fit your breasts, instead of trying to make your breasts fit a popular style. I know... I hear you... there may be limited styles available to you that look good with your breasts, but there definitely are some. Don't limit yourself just to what is coming out of Hollywood or Paris this week... look back in history and find what looked great for your shape in the past. Former styles are being brought back all of the time. Your dad probably kept his wide ties when the narrow ones were popular, and later on, narrow ties were popular again.

Think about completely different directions, such as Western wear, or Asian styles, or Swiss or German or Hawaiian... there are so many different things being worn today and they can all look good, if you work with them. Think of it... you may find the combination that makes your breasts look like the amazing person you really are. That's far better than driving yourself crazy trying to make your body fit today's newest style.

Well, you read my note, but you are still asking the question: “Will my breasts be huge?” or “When will my breasts start to GROW!?” There are some indicators that suggest what you can expect, but nothing is guaranteed. It is only an educated guess as to what your breasts are going to do. They can still make pretty major changes up into your twenties.  If that is what you would like to know, it will require you to share some intimate information. Please be sure that your parent is ok with your doing this. I can assure you that any information and any images that you share will be read in the strictest of privacy and absolutely none of your data will ever be shared with anyone. Ever. And that is my solemn promise to you. 

If you or your parents would like to know me better before you do this, encourage them to write to me. Or why don’t you or your friends drop me a note with your breast questions, if you don’t have someone at home that you can speak with about these matters. My address is at the bottom of this note. Be sure your parent knows you are doing this. That is important.

I will need to know the following information:

1. What is your age?

2. What is your height?

3. What is your weight? (be as accurate as you can be 😊)

4. At what age did you have your first period?

5. Have your periods been regular (normal is every 26 to 30 days)

6. At what age did you first notice an enlargement starting under your nipples?

7. What size bra did your biological mother wear when she was twenty-five years old?

8. What size bra did your biological mother’s mom wear when she was twenty-five years old? You may have to estimate this size.

9. What size bra did your biological father’s mom wear when she was twenty-five years old? Don’t ask your father for his bra size, OK? He won’t think that is funny.

10. Are you using estrogen-based birth control pills? If yes at what age did you start using them?

11. Are you using any estrogen-based medication for acne?

12. Are you using any other estrogen-based medication?

13. Have you had any chest surgeries or breast surgeries?

14. Are you participating in any intra-mural sports program? If yes, when did you first seriously participate?.

15. Take a look at this article:  and read about the five stages of breast development. Notice the characteristics of the breast at each of the stages.

With this information, see if you can determine your current developmental stage. Knowing the stage of development your breasts are in will help you by telling you if your breasts are nearly mature or if they still have some developing to go through before you reach your “adult” stage. The Tanner Stage of Breast Development is what is used to make this determination, along with the important information listed above.

Again, all of this information will be treated as being sacred, and will be deleted after your developmental stage is determined, and I report the findings back to you.

I’m sure that you have a lot of questions. That is healthy and good. Information is important. You will be making many decisions in your lifetime, and you need good, honest information to make those decisions. Please feel free to write to me, and tell me your concerns and your questions. I can be more specific about your particular situation, especially if I have the information that is requested.

I taught high school students for 35 years and I always made myself available to them to answer questions that were extremely personal and important to them. I respected their privacy and their concerns, and I respect yours as well. Please know that I will do my best to find answers for you, so that you will be more informed and so that you will feel better about your situation. Also, don’t forget that your parents are very much concerned about you and your situation, and would like very much to help you. If you have trouble communicating with them, I would be very willing to work with both of you, to help with the communication problem. It is important that you find answers, and that is why we are here.

And remember:

You Are A Beautiful Woman, In Your Own, Wonderful Way


If I can be of any help, I hope to hear from you.




Ken L. Smith, Breast Health Facilitator for ACS
Instructor, Health and Sex Education, Ret.